


all just shades of grey

by isloremipsumafterall



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, spoilers for latest episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-28 23:24:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2751026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isloremipsumafterall/pseuds/isloremipsumafterall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He doesn’t see any colours until he partners with Jemma at the academy, they’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen and at the time he thinks Jemma is too. </p>
<p>And then he meets Mack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	all just shades of grey

**Author's Note:**

> I got prompted with that post that ran about tumblr of you see colour when you meet your soulmate and grey again when they die but kinda opted to go with the idea that you can have multiple soulmates that end up being platonic and different people you develop ties to can give you different colours and you just don’t know it till you meet the person who brings all the colours into your world if that makes any sense

He doesn’t see any colours until he partners with Jemma at the academy, they’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen and at the time he thinks Jemma is too.

When he meets the rest of the team other colours come in slowly, Skye means he sees more blues than before, Ward means that all the reds look deeper suddenly, but none of them have as many colours as Jemma so he thinks that’s it; she must be the one.

Fitz forgot somewhere along the way that just because someone inspires colours in you doesn’t mean the same thing if they aren’t your “one”.

Now they just seem like a long forgotten memory, like he dreamed up the colours because they’re gone along with Jemma. Skye’s blues are still there occasionally, May’s greens flicker every now and then and Trip’s yellows come at inconvenient times, but mostly it’s like seeing through a filtered grey screen with cracks in it.

And then he meets Mack.

Actually meets Mack because of course he’s seen the other man before around the base but they’ve never actually talked and Fitz has kept his head down the whole time which is why until Mack walks towards him and asks him who he’s talking to and he’s forced to _look_ that it all comes blaring at him with full force and there’s colours.

The colours he saw when he first met Jemma are nothing compared to his, aren’t even close, if anything before it was all dull and muted and now it’s vibrant. He can see the dark brown of Mack’s skin in stark contrast of the white of his shirt, arms covered by blue plaid and if he had thought he could see Skye’s blue before it pales in comparison to seeing Mack’s.

“…I like singing in the shower. Yeah I know, it’s not really the same thing but I wouldn’t want anyone to hear it.”

He wasn’t listening at all, only tuning in then and hearing shower and can’t help the way he stares at Mack, thinking of the taller man in the shower and wondering how he’d look in the bright lights of the washroom, standing out even more.

“What do you want?”

In retrospect being so angry wasn’t going to help but it shakes the thoughts of him at least because even with the colours shining all around him he’s left with the bitter pit of knowledge: just because he can see them doesn’t mean Mack can too.

~~

When he was little he once asked his mother what her favourite colour was.

“ _Blue_.” She had tapped him on the nose with a smile. “ _Like the colour of your eyes_.”

Blue seemed to be a common answer, other people he had asked said the same thing. Likewise when asked what they’re least favourite colour was they had responded with brown.

He thinks they’re all idiots because they’ve obviously never had Mack looking at them, grinning and his brown eyes made darker by the shadows in the lab but every time he looks up to see those brown eyes there’s a thrill that runs through him.

“Saved the day, think we ought to celebrate don’t you?” Mack sets down the Overkill device, hands resting on the table as he looked over at Fitz. “The others should all be busy if you wanna see if we can grab the Xbox?”

He should say no because he ultimately doesn’t want to get close, burned by thinking Jemma was his soulmate and being proved so effectively wrong.

Imaginary Jemma is nowhere to be seen, there’s just Mack looking at him with a smile and waiting.

“Okay.” He nods his head. “Yeah, sure.”

As luck would have it there isn’t anyone there when they walk in and Mack boots up the Xbox, tossing a controller his way.

“Take turns or one on one?” Mack asks, digging out a second controller just in case.

“Doesn’t matter.” He doesn’t actually want to play because that means trying to get that hand to work, something he’s not so great at now.

“One on one it is.” Mack falls back on the couch next to him and grins. “Show me what you got turbo.”

When the game starts up he dies right away because he isn’t expecting the sudden colours flashing on the screen, logically he’s always known that game designers have someone who does see in perfect colours help them with the game but he’d never thought it would be so vibrant.

Next to him Mack’s laughing and it makes him huff and restart until he’s so focused on beating the other man he can’t think of shaking in his hand or the colours on the screen.

“Sure you can keep up?” Mack teases him as he wins again.

“I’m sure.” Fitz replies, grinning when he scores a hit and is starting to think that it might not be so bad.

~~

It makes work a lot easier, Mack being there. He doesn’t even care about the fact that he can see things in colour now because he’s too busy hitting Mack’s shoulder to get his attention.

“Hm?” Mack looks over at him, rolling his eyes at Fitz hitting him but by the fond smile that’s on his face he doesn’t seem to mind too much. “What’s up turbo.”

“I need you to change this. I altered the design.” He passes Mack the new specs.

“Again? Thought you just changed this one.”

He shrugs, “I work fast.”

“See, exactly the reason I call you turbo.” He gets one last grinned flashed at him before Mack starts working on the changes.

It gives him a minutes to look over the other man and remembers when they first met and been distracted by everything but his subconscious, Jemma, had not, looking over Mack and declaring she, and by default he, liked him.

“I got something on me?” Mack asked, breaking his focus.

“What?”

“Do I have something on me, you’re staring pretty hard there.” Mack glanced back at him.

“No. Nothing. I’m not staring.”

“Sure you aren’t.” Mack smirked and turned back to his work. “You can look all you like though turbo, I don’t mind.”

He spent the whole of the afternoon in the lab pretending not to notice Mack at all while still sneaking glances at him.

~~

“Mack certainly has an impressive physique, wouldn't you say?”

“Bugger off.” He groans in his head because he doesn’t want to have this conversation, not again. This has to be at least the tenth time he’s argued with his subconscious about Mack and his various levels of attractiveness.

“No. It's true. Look at him. He's quite a lot of a man.”

The worst part isn’t him falling for it every time and tilting his head to get a better look at Mack, wondrously wearing just a tank top and jeans and showing off the many muscles he has, skin glistening with sweat and streaked with engine oil.

No the worst part is that he keeps getting himself into situations where he’s left admiring Mack which leaves openings for imaginary Jemma to comment about things.

“Well, obviously I agree, what with you being my subconscious and everything.” He’s tired of fighting with it, he tried and he’s obviously failing. Next to him Jemma is beaming. “What? I can say that to you. It doesn't mean anything.”

It does. They both know it.

“It's just a casual observation. That's all it is.”

He lets the conversation change and by the end he does feel better about both himself and Mack; he can admit that Jemma wasn’t right for him and he needs to move on.

“You just going to stand there the entire time I’m working or you going to work to?” Mack calls down to him once he looks up from the sheet someone handed him and notices Fitz.

He grins, “You were working? Looked more like you were trying to take a bath in engine grease.”

Mack walks down the ramp closer to him and huffs, as soon as he’s close enough he swings an arm over Fitz and drags him in close and Fitz squirms.

“Well now that I’ve gotten you dirty to you can join me.” Mack says far too cheerfully, pulling Fitz with him. “Come on, let me show you what I did to the van, it’s sort of like what I’d like to do with Lola if Coulson ever lets me get a hold of her…”

“You’re never gonna get it Mack.” He shakes his head. “Wishful thinking.”

Mack’s looking over at the cherry red car in the corner with a want that Fitz wishes was meant for him.

“One day.” He sighs.

One day, Fitz thinks, hope creeping in.

~~

Jemma comes back on a Tuesday and he’s never noticed that she has brown eyes as well. 

They’re pretty, a light shade of brown with flecks of greens in them and thinking back to the colours he used to see it’s no wonder he never noticed before. But they aren’t the _right_ shade and he's stuck on that.

It’s also not a surprise that they keep sniping at each other and can’t find a rhythm anymore, despite everything Jemma did leave and he can’t help but know it was his fault, the guilt is eating at him along with the anger because he needed her.

“Fitz I'm sorry. I can't do this. Excuse me...Excuse me.”

He watches her go with wet eyes and turns to see Mack who blinks, watching him quietly.

“You want a distraction?”

“Please.”

A few hours later and he feels fine again, using a pointer to show Mack something.

“You’re right. You’re right. Damn Fitz.” Mack chuckles, hand clapping Fitz’s shoulder and then leaning back, resting on his chin on his hand and looking up at Fitz. He’s exceptionally close still and it settles something in Fitz to see those brown eyes, the right shade, looking at him with something akin to fondness.

“Why do you look so surprised?” He protests.

Mack smiles at him slowly, leaning just a bit closer and there’s a brief moment where Fitz dizzily thinks Mack is going to kiss him before he sees Jemma and springs back and just like that the moment’s over.

~~

“You’re killing the wrong guys there turbo, you need to hit the purple ones.”

“No backseat driving.” Fitz retorts, quickly shooting a glare at Mack before turning his attention back to the screen in time to see his character die. “Great.”

“Told you.” Mack’s wearing a smug smirk and Fitz elbows him.

“Made it further than you did.”

Mack shrugs, “But you didn’t finish it.”

“You didn’t either!”

Mack’s still grinning and he groans, falling back on the couch, halfway leaning on Mack.

“You okay there.”

“Fine.” His voice is muffled partly by the couch and partly by Mack’s arm where his face is pressed up against.

The couch is a dark green and his mind automatically compares it to the green of the plant that he’s seen in the corner and he smiles because now he knows the differences. They’re not just different shades of grey or dull colours that blur together and nothing stands out.

“Hey,” Mack pokes his side, “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“Nothing.”

More like everything. He’s thinking about how easy it would be to fall asleep there next to Mack and wake up the next day with Mack the first thing he’d see. He’s thinking that he could rearrange himself so Mack’s curled around him and give him easier access to lean up and kiss him.

He’s thinking about everything Mack related, mind idly wandering back to the first thought he had of Mack in the shower, skin dark compared to the white tiles and looks down where his had lies close to Mack, his own skin completely pale and unbidden he rests his hand on top of Mack’s wrist.

“Fitz?”

“Just…give me a minute.” Fitz mutters, memorizing the differences in them, sliding his hand down Mack’s wrist to press his palm awkwardly against Mack’s. He’s never thought of himself as small until just then, the tips of his fingers don’t reach Mack’s at all.

He’s dreamt of those fingers in technicoloured dreams he never would have had before.

“Fitz…”

He pulls back, grinning at Mack and leaning away and reaches down to grab the controller again.

“One on one?”

Mack holds his gaze for a minute, just waiting before he nods slowly.

“All right turbo, let’s see how good you’ve gotten.”

As Mack turns towards the screen an idea comes to Fitz. Probably a terrible idea that will backfire on him but he can’t help but hoping this time it’ll all turn out okay.

~~

“…I'm going to the garage, on the bus with Mack.”

He hasn’t told Mack that yet, but he will, he had been planning on asking the taller man first but then Jemma had just started talking to him and he couldn’t help but break the news.

It isn’t anything against her, though he is struggling with all the differences between them now, it’s mostly that he wants to work alongside Mack and he’s using this as an excuse.

There must be something in his voice that gives him away because after they finish talking and he says his piece Jemma suddenly smiles at him, sad as it is.

“Fitz is this about Mack?”

He hesitates and that’s all the answer she needs, nodding at him and walking away.

It’s no surprise that he leaves to find Mack.

~~

“Please, Mack, wake up. Don't make me do this.”

~~

Grey. Everything is grey.

His mind is scrambling in the wake of Mack’s fall and how the second Mack knocked Bobbi across the room all the colours faded away.

He can’t remember the exact shade of teal that Mack’s shirt was.

He can’t remember Mack’s eyes, not even the red they had been moments before.

“Fitz…” Jemma fingers brush his hand. “Fitz we need to focus.”

He might as well, there’s nothing left for him to do otherwise.

~~

He lets Jemma have her hope, even plays along with it, acting like Mack could still be alive though he knows that isn’t true.

“Fitz have the colours faded?”

“No. They haven’t.”

He smiles but it fakes and is surprised that she buys it, that she can’t see it’s all been taken away from him the same way that Mack was. Tossed into his life and taken away just as suddenly.

When he tells Jemma that he’s going to get the suits he actually walks by the living room first and turns on the game that’s in the system. The start screen blinks at him with none of the purples and reds it was before, he can’t even see the old muted colours that were Jemma’s or Skye’s blues or Trip’s yellows.

It’s all gone much like he is.

~~

Rocks are brown but not the right shade, Fitz reminds himself as he walks through the cavern alone, having split up from Jemma and Trip.

To keep himself company he’s been trying to remember what colours things were but forgetting a moment later because he can’t be completely bothered to care.

Red, purple, green, blue, grey, grey, grey…

~~

Fitz nearly falls down the cavern when colours start appearing again, almost blinding him it’s so bright. His heart hammers in his chest because there’s only one thing it could mean.

Mack’s alive.

Mack’s **_alive_**.

~~

The Bus is a madhouse, Skye and Raina are in quarantine, Trip’s on life support, and Mack’s being patched up by Jemma.

“I think I was dead. Feel like I am.” He says, looking exhausted, eyes no longer red and the comforting brown that Fitz remembers.

“You were.” He replies and Mack looks up at him. “I mean…you probably were and there were, are, these colours…”

He isn’t expecting the sudden grin that grows on Mack’s face or the laughter.

“What?”

Jemma shakes her head and tapes one last bandage to Mack’s chest before stepping away to check on Trip, leaving them both alone.

“I knew you saw the colours too.” Mack whoops, reaching out to snag Fitz’s (blue) shirt and pull him close, reaching up just a little to kiss him.

His mouth is warm, Mack’s lips are chapped from being down in the cavern so long but Fitz doesn’t care, leaning in and kissing back.

“You taste like dirt.” He comments when he pulls back.

“Sure know how to make a guy feel welcome.” Mack deadpans but swiping a finger across his cheek and drawing dust back has him making a face.

His teal shirt sits next to him on the bed he’s resting on, Jemma opting to bandage him up in his own room so he could sleep right after after she cleared him of having a concussion.

Mack winces as he stands walking to the washroom (past the pale orange walls, through the chestnut coloured door, tiles decked out in white and mint green) and grabs a (purple) towel, dampening it and walking back.

When he was close enough Fitz stole it from his hand and pointed at the bed.

“Sit.”

Mack shot him an amused look but none the less took a seat, soon as he was down Fitz ran the towel carefully over Mack’s cheek, wiping the dirt away.

“When did you start seeing colours?” He asked, meeting Mack’s eyes.

“Soon as I met you, didn’t think you’d noticed at all. I introduced myself but you uh, ignored me.”

“Ah.” He probably did too.

“Just thought that meant you weren’t seeing the same, I did keep dropping hints.”

“You did?” He stops at that, trying to think back.

Mack laughs until it pulls at the wounds on his chest and he has to stop, leaving him still smiling at Fitz. “Asked you to pass me the yellow cup or shoot the purple alien. Noticed that you could see colour but I thought…kinda thought you already had somebody. Either that or an amazing guesser.”

“Wait.” Fitz narrows his eyes. “Is that why you left to have me and Jemma talk in the plane?”

Mack at least looks embarrassed by that, nodding. “Just wanted you happy turbo.”

“You want me happy then stop going down holes and pushing me towards Jemma. I told you to be careful. And Jemma and I are just friends.” Fitz retorts, going back to scrubbing the (light brown, not the right shade) dirt off Mack.

“You are now. You did think she was the one.” Mack points out.

Fitz sighs, “She brought colour to my world. I thought that was it. But then you came in, talking about showers and singing and the lab was so…bright.”

Mack’s eyes soften, it isn’t the same look he gave Lola of want, it’s even better because Fitz can see something even more important than that in Mack’s eyes and his hands snake up to grasp Fitz’s shirt and pull him back down, laughing into the kiss when Fitz loses his balance just a bit.

“You know speaking of a shower I think we ought to try that instead of this.” Mack picks at the edge of the towel and then lets it fall.

“You just got patched up.” He argues.

“You can patch me up again.” Mack’s unapologetic as he pushed Fitz backwards.

He chooses to let that go despite his worry because he’s thinking of Mack in the shower, reaching up to kiss him, of seeing the right shade and _finally_.


End file.
